Each of us has our own memories of Selmer and each is as unique as the relationship. For me it’s important to record some of them as a tribute to Selmer, a great Father in law and wonderful man.
I was 19 when I was introduced to Selmer, my soon to be, but I didn't know it yet father in law. Dennis and I were both attending St. Cloud State University when Selmer and Doris drove to St. Cloud in the spring to see Dennis and the campus.
We went on an outing to Riverside Park near the campus, we walked around and enjoyed the early cold spring in the park. Selmer took photos of the park and the river and me in varying poses behind a tree. He enjoyed photography and made slides out of his photos. Most of his photos of family events, trips and people were preserved in slide form and he bought a projector to view them. The slides were probably because it was less expensive than prints and movies, and you could always print the best photos. The slides could be projected on the wall, they were not quite family movies, but the next best thing at the time to record the history of a life and growing family.
Ok, I admit to a very fuzzy recollection of all of this. All I remember is that it was chilly and we were in the park. I was a stranger to everyone, barely dating Dennis...but liked him a lot...so we had all just met. But, Selmer was engaging, warm and friendly. As I observed through the years he had the gift of conversation at appropriate times and he could make small talk for hours. This gift he passed on to Doug and Dennis. This was one of his charms. Selmer would be known to most of those he knew as humorous, kindly and generous.
OK NEW INFORMATION!~It was Dennis, who was crazy about me, taking all those pictures in the park with his dad's camera... which makes much more sense.
Selmer had lots of hobbies over the years I knew him. Besides photography, he enjoyed gardening and botany. It may have been by necessity more than leisure that he had a very large garden, but whatever the reason, he had the greenest thumb I’ve ever seen. He grew large potted plants in the house, had a green house to start vegetables for the garden in the spring. He grew all types of vegetables, plants, bushes, trees and flowers. He liked to experiment with varieties also. Much of the garden was started in the basement greenhouse on the workbench with grow lights, dirt and seed.
He was well studied in all these endeavors, mostly self study, with magazines, books and manuals. But at times I remember hearing that he took classes to improve his basic knowledge. When his kids grew, he remodeled the small house for his growing family so his boys could have the upstairs for a bedroom and the family TV room would be downstairs. He had the wood rough sawed for the basement and made a fitting family room that would be used for years. A much needed second shower was put in the laundry room in later years when there were 5 teenagers in the house alongside two adults. Selmer did all these things by hand. He was industrious and resourceful all the while he was able to raise a family of seven comfortably.
In the early years, I remember the colorful coleus Selmer grew in pots and in the garden and the house plants that always grew and thrived. He also always kept an immaculate yard. The trees were always trim and the yard cut. He put his boys to work to help him in all of these things, I’m told by Dennis these were among his chores. In having his kids help, he was teaching them self sufficiency, discipline and the value of hard work. They are very industrious and resourceful to this day and this is one of the things I admire greatly in Selmer. He raised wonderful, hard working, honorable sons. I have to think this was one of his legacies.
I admire people who self-study in pursuit of a hobby or craft. Selmer grew grapes and made his own wine. He also picked choke cherries, dandelions and other fruit to make all kinds of wines. He wasn’t a drinker, but he loved to experiment with them using all kinds of fruit. Dennis and I both enjoyed a jug of his homemade choke cherry wine one night shortly after we met... but that's a story for another time and place. Selmer also made his own maple syrup later on from the maples on his property in Wisconsin. He ran lines and in the spring he’d haul the buckets of syrup up and down the hills. He enjoyed being outside, his dog Ralph following close at his side.
He loved his dogs, Toby for starters. I’d never met this dog, but it comes back often in sayings through Dennis in the winter when we all hear, “It’s colder than Toby’s butt out here.” But I came into the family when Sam was alive. After Sam passed, there wasn’t a dog around for a while, except those that Betty brought home. This included Ralph, who was Bette’s but when she moved away from home, Ralph stayed on. Ralph became Selmer’s best friend and they walked the hills together for years until Ralph just never came home. Then along came Jack who he also cared for well in his last days on memory.
I will always remember Selmer working hard. When we’d bring our growing family to Grandpa and Grandma Hanson’s he was hospitable even after a long days work. When we were having our children, his first grandchildren, he and Doris were in the throes of working. They were still raising their own family. But I always felt as if they were there for us. Selmer would help us with our garden, our home repairs and any of the other things that he could help with. He also enjoyed our children while his own children were still home.
Later after he and Doris retired and moved to Wisconsin, he helped us paint our home, he helped Dennis set up a shop in the garage; he helped us till our garden, he helped us build shelving and whatever else we needed that he could help with. For me he made a wall of book shelves and a cupboard. He made me end tables that would match my bedroom set. He made my girls’ hope chests and many other wonderful wood projects that I treasure today. He also enjoyed golf and bowling. I can only imagine how he enjoyed being with his golfing and bowling teams. He was a great bowler apparently and being new to golf after he retired, he fought hard for a good score. He loved the game and enjoyed being out of doors.
When he retired, Selmer was there for our family when we needed his help and he always worked hard on our behalf, never expecting anything in return. He enjoyed helping us build our life and our family; it seemed to give him great satisfaction. He was generous with his time and talents. He did this for all of his kids, neighbors, friends and relatives.
Selmer loved a cookie or bar in the afternoon with his coffee. It often broke up his day of yard or wood working, or clearing snow or gardening. He actually got a bit testy if he didn’t have something available. Selmer loved lemon meringue pie; lemon bars and he loved rhubarb sauce, which Doris made easily and well. I too love rhubarb and lemon pie and now I make it in his honor. He also grew horseradish and made a crazy hot horseradish that he shared. I may even try my hand at planting horseradish… at least I’ll ask Dennis to do so.
Selmer enjoyed a drive; he enjoyed a visit with friends. He bowled, played horseshoes, golfed, canoed, and shot archery at different points in his life. He really enjoyed the family reunion. We would hear about it for months and the date was blazoned on our minds, as was the picnic meal of fried chicken and dish to pass. We weren’t always able to attend, and we always got the roll call of who was in attendance. He recounted those who came the farthest distance; often his brother Bunny’s kids from the west coast would make his day. His immediate family and extended family gave him great joy. He took great pride in doing his part in keeping the family in touch at least once a year at the reunion.
In his final years, the early love and tenderness he had for Doris became evident once again. His eyes glimmered when he saw her. In the work of raising a family and making a living, all through life’s stages, they remained a strong force through thick and thin. They experienced an enduring love and care for each other, enjoying the rewards of the life they worked so hard to build.
It was just a few months into his disease that he and Doris, Doug, Linda and Dennis and I took a drive to Park Rapids to the Threshing Days. It was a great day and the morning after he came into the kitchen and told me he'd like to call a family meeting to talk about his disease. His memory was already fading and things were a bit confused for him and he was well aware of it. This is the first time I'd ever seen Selmer communicate with his family. I thought it touching that he told me he wanted to call a meeting. I guess he knew I wouldn't shut up until it was done. We all decided that we should have it now while he remembered asking for it, not until all the family could get together in Wisconsin. Not everyone was present, but we could relay anything he said to the others given the circumstances. We gathered outside in our porch and Selmer had the floor. Linda and I were there too, even though we aren't blood. I guess we were family enough. Selmer told us that he had about 6 month before he wouldn't be able to know anything anymore. He told us his disease is terminal. This from the man who did much self study. He told us to each read the book on his disease that the doctors gave him. He said he gets angry sometimes and doesn't mean to. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. I was touched as were the others that he was being so honest and vulnerable. He said he so often wanted to get his gun and shoot himself, but he couldn't. (Well, Doris hid the bullets long ago). He expressed in such a calm way his frustration and his heart about what we can expect. He said he knows Doris won't be able to take care of him, he won't like being put in a home, but he knows it will have to happen. He shared his love for his family with these words of honesty. After the family meeting was over, we were saddened, but relieved at the same time. It was the beginning of his end. That Christmas he entered the home in Coon Rapids. He was there a few months and while there, Dennis and I were able to take him out for an afternoon.
The photos taken here were of our last real outing with Selmer. He was just in the home for a few months and hated it. He always wondered in his confused state when he was going home. I knew he enjoyed gardening and flowers, so we decided to take him on an outing to the St. Paul Conservatory. It was near his birthday and spring was a way off. But he was feeling cooped up.It really was a beautiful day for all. We started it out with a huge breakfast at Kays Cafe somewhere near Como Park if I recall. Selmer ate a huge Sunday dinner with turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and green beans. He finished it off with a piece of apple pie and ice cream. (At least this is what I recall). We were all full and happy and drove over to the conservatory. Dennis dropped us off and we met to walk around the lovely flowers and greenery. This made Selmer feel right at home. He loved growing things and being outdoors. He could walk still then, and it wasn't a few months later he was confined to a wheel chair. We feel so fortunate that we had this time with him. His mind was not there, but glimpses of his personality still shined through. He seemed at peace and enjoyed the outing. We even had a chance to watch a Sloth move ever so slowly on exhibit in a tree. It was indeed slothful, but moving slowly as it was feeding time.
Dennis and I marvel that this was the last time we would be with the Selmer we knew. We both cried together on the way home realizing the Selmer we knew and loved was forever gone.
There are daily chores, like cleaning out the dishwasher, feeding the dogs and setting the table. Emi, Violet and GG came home with me from Washington in July and stayed for a month.
There are daily chores, like cleaning out the dishwasher, feeding the dogs and setting the table. Emi, Violet and GG came home with me from Washington in July and stayed for a month.
While here, they had art lessons from Great Grandma Mae, we saw Great Grandpa Norm get an honorary degree from UND. 
