The Rythym

Knowing that my last three blogs received NO comments, I thought I would do another. It's like a private diary that no one reads.

My days are different now.

For years I forced myself to live according to someone else's rythym. Now that I am figuring out my own, there are frequent remnants of guilt, shame, fear and anxiety, but I assume that's withdrawals. Learning how to live free is a challenge. But it's coming. Here's how my days look like.
I get up when I want. I don't set an alarm. I get up when I get up. Sometimes it's four a.m., sometimes it's 3, sometimes it's 8 a.m. I have two cups of coffee, (6 shots of espresso). I might pray and read, but not always. I need it often and want it, too. I do however need to feed the dog. I try to remember eating breakfast, something I never took time for. I go to the barn and let the animals out before nine and clean the stalls. I try to be at my desk by 9 or 10. I actually have work, so I work until I see a good break. I actually take lunch if I am hungry. I go cross country skiing with a friend in the middle of the da if I am asked. I schedule doctors appointments without worrying about time away from the office. I work till 9 at night sometimes because I like it, not because I have to. I enjoy the sun as i walk up the driveway after shoveling horseshit.

For the most part? Things are good.