I'm A Horrible GrandMother

I am a horrible grandmother.

The quotable line from Arrested Development's first season when Michael and Lindsay realized their mother was a manipulative fiend rings a bit true here for different reasons.

My dear Shammai and Gabe both came under the wrath of GamaJama this week while they were under my care. You remember girls? Not fun.

I was working on some work deadline pressures Friday from home along with trying to entertain and spend time with the boys. The landscaper was here, Rachel was outside watering plants in her pajamas, Lori stopped by and my house was a mess. I can't do five things at once anymore it seems.

I did by the way have Rachel Wagner agree to help watch the boys while I worked... she was no help. On her watch, Gabe disappeared. Nowhere to be found. There's a pond on our place, a pool, poison ivy, young steers not to mention all kinds of other dangerous things farms have readily at hand. My imagination went into full speed and I panicked. I went balistic. I ran all over trying to find him around the place. I found him in the barn and he said, "I wanted to play by myself. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

I scolded him ferociously like a a she bear protecting her cubs and he promised to never go off without asking again. Then there were the peeing incidents. Shammai and Gave alike. Shammai must have gotten up in the night and just pull his peewee out and peed... on the bedroom floor. Gabe of course managed to pee twice in the bed. Both times Grandpa Den didn't put pull ups on him at nap time.

I did not like going balistic on the boys.

I am a horrible mother and a horrible grandmother.
So... Be Nicer?

Easier said than done when your grandson's are on the lose in danger haven. They are great boys... I just need an assistant. So, may just have to figure this out a bit better, shorter doses, set up work differently... have parents or baby sitter handy to release pressure valve. Drugs and alcohol. Extended absences. Grandparent disappearances... escapes. What have you.

The times are precious even with it all. I just hope the scars aren't permanent.